By John Andrews

Is there anything South Dakotans won't race? We do all the mainstream stuff, like cars and horses. But people in Chamberlain race lawnmowers, and the residents of Volin race turtles. This weekend, the good citizens of Nemo will race outhouses.

Competitors build their own privy, mount it on something that will traverse snowpack well and race around a track, one at a time. One team member rides inside while the others push and pull.

The races are the focal point, but it's really an all-day extravaganza that benefits the local fire department. Here's a look at the schedule for Saturday, Feb. 27:

8 to 10 AM — Check in of Outhouses
9 to Noon — Toilet paper toss and outhouse horseshoes
10 AM — Deadline for outhouse check in and inspection
10:30 AM — Outhouse inspections – following inspection there will be a parade with Chinese fire drill practice
11 AM — Shovel races for kids (bring your own shovels)
11: AM – 1 PM — Chili Tasting
11:30 AM to Noon — Voting for people’s choice award
High Noon — Gun Fight at the Nemo Corral
12:35 PM — Captains meeting (MANDATORY)
1 PM — Outhouse Races start

It's either really poor planning or sheer genius to schedule the outhouse races after two hours of eating chili. And note they also recruit children to race with shovels.

Maybe with enough publicity this can become a winter Olympic event in 2014. There's already one event in which contestants ski for a while and then shoot things. And then there's curling. So why not outhouse racing?

For more information call the Nemo Guest Ranch at (605) 578-2708.